Receiving feedback isn’t always easy, but it’s a critical skill for leaders and high-performing teams. By intentionally managing how you react, reflect, and respond, you can turn even tough feedback into professional growth and stronger working relationships.
Feedback comes in many forms: a formal performance review, a 360-degree report commissioned as part of a management development program, or an impromptu comment in a meeting. Whatever way it comes, it can be useful in helping you improve both as as an employee and a manager.
At Stratford, we often coach leaders to think of feedback as a strategic opportunity. It’s not just about performance; it’s about aligning behaviours with long-term objectives, strengthening teams, and building a culture of trust.
How much value you get from receiving feedback is entirely up to you.
Typically, we go through three stages, whether over a minute or several days::
Being aware of these stages, and intentional about your behaviour, will help you get the most from the feedback you receive. Let’s take a closer look at how you can navigate each stage effectively.
We often react to receiving feedback instantly and with emotion, and that’s normal. It taps into our basic instincts to protect ourselves. No matter how sensitively feedback is provided, It’s easy to slip into defensiveness or denial. You might dismiss the input, explain it away, or even respond with frustration. But here’s the key: awareness is your ally.
Take a breath. Remind yourself that the feedback is about behaviour, not identity. By pausing your reaction, you can keep the conversation productive and avoid damaging your relationship with the person(s) providing the feedback
After your heart has had its turn, it’s time for your mind to process the information contained in the feedback. This may occur in the moment for immediate feedback or later after careful consideration following a performance review.
Once the emotional reaction subsides, shift into analysis. Ask yourself:
Recognize that sharing feedback can be emotional for both the provider and the recipient. To gain clarity, a great technique is to write down what you think you heard. Compare this to any written report you may have received. This lets you verify what was said and ensures you’re working with the right information. If appropriate, check your understanding with the feedback provider for confirmation.
Find balance. Put the feedback in context of your broader behaviour, accomplishments and situation. The provider of feedback may not know all the facts, but their perspective is their truth. That insight matters, especially when leading teams. Feedback often signals how your behaviour is experienced by others, and that’s a leadership asset.
Try to view the feedback through a lens of curiosity: What is this telling me about the issue and about the relationship with the provider(s) of the feedback?
Although it may not feel like it, most feedback comes from a place of caring. People generally aren’t trying to throw you under the bus or bring you down, particularly when the feedback forms part of a formal evaluation process. For the most part, the people around you actually care about you and want you to improve.
Ultimately, you have to decide, in the moment or after further thought, whether you will accept the feedback and act upon it.
This final stage is where growth really happens. Our actions here determine whether we get any positive benefit from the “gift” of feedback we’ve been provided. A thoughtful response shows that you are listening, self-aware, and committed to improvement. That builds trust and credibility, especially in a leadership role.
There are two parts to a useful response to feedback:
Let the feedback provider know that you’ve heard their input, accept it, appreciate it and will use it to guide your future action. This doesn’t mean you need to agree with everything, but a genuine acknowledgement goes a long way in maintaining trust.
“Thanks for taking the time to share that. I’ll reflect on it and consider how I can integrate it moving forward.”
The process of accepting feedback raises your perception in the eyes of the feedback provider(s). You are showing that you care about improving and, importantly, that you care about their perspective. It doesn’t take a lot of work to provide verbal or written acknowledgement, but it certainly buys a lot of goodwill.
The next step is deciding which bits of feedback you intend to act on and what specific actions you will take. Be strategic. Focus on changes that support your role, your goals, or your team’s performance.
Sometimes, that means leaning into your strengths instead of over-investing in fixing every minor weakness. If feedback highlights a developmental gap that could derail your career or team, that’s the time to act.
Once you’ve chosen your direction, create an action plan and, if appropriate, share it with the person who gave the feedback. This demonstrates commitment and keeps you accountable.
If you're a leader, your response to feedback sets the tone for your team. By modelling openness and accountability, you encourage others to do the same. If you're in a mentorship or advisory role, share this three-step framework with your direct reports—it’s a simple way to equip them for professional growth.
In the moment, feedback can be hard to hear. But if you can remember these three Rs: React (control your emotions), Reflect (understand the message), and Respond (take action), you’ll be on the right path.
Want to build stronger teams through better feedback practices? Connect with Stratford’s People & Culture team to learn how we support leadership development and culture transformation.
This blog post was originally published in 2017. It has been updated with new content.